I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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