Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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