Sry I called you an 8
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize