in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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