this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize