I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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