at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
