Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
