I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
