"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
