Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
