do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
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I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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