I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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