i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
