I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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