is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
