We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
