You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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