what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize