wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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