ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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