I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
