better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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