she smelled like a LAN party
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
