you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize