she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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