i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize