Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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