Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
