Your dad touched me again.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize