i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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