after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
