So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize