I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
