I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wish i was in the wii world.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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