So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
