i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
