forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
