i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
