I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
