I'm jealous of your bromance
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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