i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
