Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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