Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
