Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
