He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
