i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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