So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
