i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize