She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
