Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
