at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
