I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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