Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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