guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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