I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
