Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
