I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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