i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
