all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
