I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
